Why I'm the Last Person a Man Would Date

 

I have been into several relationships before and most of them gave me the bitter realization that I might not just be the type of person a man would like to date. 

Looking back in the years that have passed, I did my best to recall the type of person I was and what I have become. 

And through my stroll down memory lane, I've come to realize what made me under qualified to be a member of the ever growing dating pool, and here are the reasons why:

1. I am loud.

Not in bed, I'm not. But if you ask most of the people I know they'd tell you that I speak loudly and that I laugh boisterously. I'm also pretty animated and add the fact that I teach kids for a living, and what do you get? Adult woman blurting out her emotions or expressions with a little exaggeration. 

 

Of course, I do not intend to speak as if I'm trying to gain attention. I'm not. Truth be told, it's something innate and hard to change and even to control at times. 

Have I done something about it? Aye! Definitely. But I always end up being either inaudible or in a comical whisper.

2. I laugh easily. 

I am known to be the one who laughs the loudest and the easiest to crack up--even if the joke or situation isn't too funny to everyone else. 

I just have a different way of perceiving "funny" things or situations that most often than not, men misinterprets it as flirting or showing interest in them. 

I'm actually doing my best to control my impulse to laugh loudly at little things but to no avail; plus, holding in my laughter always leave me in tears and out of breath. 

3. I'm one of the boys.

I am not sure exactly how and why, but I just seem to click with men more than women. Sometimes, I'd have people telling me that I act and think like a man, and to be honest I'm not sure if it's a bad thing or a good thing. 

 

To be even more honest, I'd like to believe it's a good thing just because it gives me the freedom to break social and gender barriers and the norm that girls should only be friends with girls because we have cooties--whatever that is. I naturally think and act in such way, that sometimes, and yet again, people deliberately misconstrue it as flirting or as if I'm trying to gain some guy's attention. 

But the truth is, I just basically like to talk to men better because they know no bullshit celeb gossip and can actually talk about a wide range of topics aside from the common washroom talk about whose purse mismatched her shoes.

On the side, they make a good game buddy and protective brother material. Nobody can mess with me, my bro's got my back but sadly, since they know I'm a dude too, I can't be taken seriously as more than just another guy friend with the tits of a B-cup woman. 

4. I'm disgusting.

Disgusting in the sense that I sit like a boy, burp the alphabet, don't wash my hair on the weekends and eat on my bed. I also smell my pits in public and boast my burping skill. 

To make it worse, I eat like a pig. Not literally though, but I really love to pig out. And most men loves seeing a girl eat daintily, but I don't eat that way, I'm extremely unattractive when I eat, hence I'm off the dating list. Oh, you'd be surprised at how many men I can turn off with those things. To my male friends it's cool, but to a prospect boyfriend? Just think about it, I fucking burp the fucking alphabet.

5. I curse a lot.

I just can't fucking help it. It just simply slips off my mouth. But I couldn't fucking care less about it, that's how I am. 

Of course, I'm still a considerate bitch; I keep my freaking gob shut around old people and children who may be offended by my choice of not-so-fancy expressions. 

Men likes to date cutesy type of girls who bats their lashes and blushes to their compliments, not someone who's always in a battle to top off Al Pacino in Scarface. 'Nuff said. 

6. I'm a bookworm.

I'm not exactly smart or intelligent, but I'm not a bubble-head either. I've got some strong convictions and opinions that some men finds extremely annoying. All of which I got from reading a vast range of topics. 

People, men mostly, solely believes that reading is boring hence people who read are most likely to be boring people who are socially awkward and know nothing about the reality of life all because we readers are boxed into the eternal thought that we're trapped into an abyss of fictional fantasies. 

Even my mother despises the fact that I read more than I should because it's keeping me from learning to put on makeup on and from developing at least a socially acceptable fashion sense instead of just plain shirt, jeans and sneakers.

 

7. I'm generally weird and have an inappropriate sense of humor.

I may look normal to the majority but even my closest friends find me weird--really weird. I do things normal adults don't, making me look and seem juvenile. 

I'm not immature in general, believe me but I do have a side which I try to hide from most people in fear that I'll get rejected due to the sheer weirdness I possess.

I'm goofy and bubbly, I whine and play sick pranks to people I love--mostly in a very slight sadistic kind of way and not even the dirty kind of sadism. Think about Rocky Balboa. 

I go to museums and stand next to warning signs and do the opposite. See, most men would like a demure, classy woman who doesn't even seem know that the words "fart" and "burp" actually exists. No sir. I'm neither demure nor classy, I'm weird and inappropriate.

________________________

I know there are more reasons as to why I'm less likely to be asked on a date, but I promised myself that I'll get some sleep. I'll be lucky if I find a man who would share the same weirdness and wouldn't mind the fact that I am as weird as he is. Heck, there's nothing cuter and sweeter than two people coming together in mutual weirdness to share the same mental dysfunction the universe blessed them with. 

 

This weird list may just be the result of taking in too much caffeine and sugar at work and a product of a bored and tired mind who wants to somehow make itself feel productive outside of the workplace. 

All Nighters

June 6 is a Korean national holiday which means no work-day for us teachers, it also means we have a long weekend ahead and we kicked it off with a blast.

My office mates and I had been planning this one for nearly a month and it was a success. What's great was that it was payday last Thursday. LOL. With me were Brish, Arlien, Liz, Mark, Jaycel and, most unexpectedly, Kevin. We asked Kevin to come with us last Thursday night when he came by the office to pick up his paycheck. We were not really expecting that he'd come with us but he did and we couldn't be more happier.

We meet up with Kevin a couple of blocks away from our office building, then we did a quick stop at a local resto-bar to get ourselves something to eat and while waiting for our take out meals, Kevin, Mark, Liz and I decided to go to the nearest convenience store to buy snacks and liquor to cut us some extra time. Shortly after, we returned to the resto-bar; we waited for our order for a little while then we went to my house.

 

They all had dinner first, or midnight snacks, I suppose before we started drinking. It was a really fun night; I got so drunk--dunno why I easily get drunk lately, but I did and well--I sort of "forced" Kevin to listen to me. LOL We stayed up all night until most of the gang went upstairs to bed at around 6am. It was only Liz, Arlien and I who were awake until about 7am. 

 

We chatted for some time then decided to clean up and unfortunately, I broke a liquor bottle and injured a toe. It bled a lot and we were having a hard time stopping it from bleeding, but Liz and I were able to really get to know each other more that time. 

 

When the bleeding finally halted, the three of us went to sleep and at around 9 something I heard voices and realized that Jaycel and Kevin were already awake and eating breakfast with my parents. I decided to get up from bed too, and joined them in the breakfast table. I wasn't really hungry but felt the need to assist and eat with my guests. LOL 

 

Soon after, every one was awake and were eating breakfast. We all chatted about random things as they ate; later that morning we all decided to just squeeze in the spare room downstairs to hang out. It was really fun, we were telling each other random tales from work and our lives; it was great getting to know my workmates better and beyond the workplace too. 

 

 

It went on for hours as we all take turns to use the bathroom to take a shower. I honestly cannot simply express in words how happy I felt that day, it's unlike anything I've ever felt before and more. It was truly a pleasure to work (and to have worked with, in Kevin's case *insert sad face here*) with them. 

From L - R : Mark, Liz, me, Arlien, Brish, Kevin and Jaycel 

Of course we took a last group shot before they left. I really wish we'd do it again as it's the best all nighters party I ever been in. I love my workmates! ^_^

Book Review: Save Karyn by Karyn Bosnak

I have been dying to get my hands on a copy of this book for years! Finally found one from BetterWorldBooks.com last month and decided to order it. It finally arrived in the mail a couple of days ago.

I know what you're probably thinking, I should just have bought an e-book or download one for free, but I've always been a fan and fond of reading the "book" itself, as in in physical form. Anyways, here's what today's book is all about.

Taken from GoodReads.com -- technically from the back of the book itself. :P

Drowning in $20,000 of credit card debt, shopaholic Karyn Bosnak asked strangers for money online -- and it worked!

What would you do if you owed $20,000? Would you: A) not tell your parents? B) start your own website that asked for money without apology? or C) stop coloring your hair, getting pedicures, and buying Gucci? If you were Karyn Bosnak, you'd do all three.

Karyn started a funny yet honest website, www.savekaryn.com, on which she asked for donations to help her get out of debt. Karyn received e-mails from people all over the world, either confessing their own debt-ridden lives, or criticizing hers. But after four months of Internet panhandling and selling her prized possessions on eBay, her debt was gone!

In Save Karyn: One Shopaholic's Journey to Debt and Back, Karyn details the bumpy road her financial -- and personal -- life has traveled to get her where she is today: happy, grateful, and completely debt-free. In this charming cautionary tale, Karyn chronicles her glamorous rise, her embarrassing fall, and how the kindness of strangers in cyberia really can make a difference.

I really love Karyn Bosnak's way of writing, it's always so simple but unique at the same time. This book became my source of motivation during the last couple of days. After I was done with it, I knew that her lessons did not end where the last words in her book were printed, she imparted it with me.

This book about a major part of her life is a wake-up call to everyone who is probably on the verge of giving up on everything. Save Karyn motivates and teaches the value of giving wholeheartedly without expecting something in return. She might have made a terrible mistake before, but who doesn't anyway, right?

I personally think that her purpose of sharing her story in this book is not just to let people know that she had a genius idea that helped her out of the mess she was in but also through her story, she imparted probably the best life advice anyone could share and that is to never tire to give, forgive and fight back with kindness.

Save Karyn made me think hard about some areas of my life and it even made me want to be a better person not only for my own good but for the benefits of other people who helped me in the past and to those who might someday need my help.

Save Karyn, in my opinion, is better than any self-help books that ever exist. Five delish cookies with milk.

    

Book Review: Borrowed Children by George Ella Lyon

Read this book when I was is the fourth grade. I didn't understand it well back then, all I knew about it was it's about a young girl that was forced to stay home, manage a household and take care of a newborn baby. Nevertheless, I loved it. Here's the summary from GoodReads.com:

Twelve-year-old Amanda Perritt is pitched head-first into adult responsibilities when she has to quit school to care for her newborn brother and invalid mother. She gets an excape, she thinks, when she's offered a trip to stay with her grandmother and her sophisticated Aunt Laura in Memphis. But during the visit, she discovers unexpected parallels between her mother's childhood and her own and comes to understand her own individuality as well as what it means to be part of a family.

Years later, I decided to look for a copy and finally found one. I've decided to re-read it and I was surprised that my perspective and understanding changed. The story seemed too complicated to me before to find sense in it, but right now I can tell that it's little complexity showed nothing more but a pre-teen's perspective about a complicated life situation she suddenly delved into.

This book tells the story of 12-year old Mandy Perritt and how she became a mother instantly to a newborn baby and how she sacrificed her love and thirst for a good education when her mother fell really ill after giving birth to her little brother.

This book is worth reading. Might even take you back to that old pre-teen feelings you had when you felt deprived of something but at the same time instills the value of appreciating whatever you have instead of thinking that you're being deprived of for other people might have experienced worse than you did.

Great story! Four cookies!

   

Transform yourself with Schick

So after watching Iron Man 3 with hubbie a couple of weeks back, I found out that another superhero movie is coming out in the theaters again! This time though it will be everyone's all time favorite superhero: SUPERMAN. Also known as Man of Steel. Yup another man made of iron, but probably more classic than Iron Man himself.

I was actually looking forward to watching this new film but I was not quite sure when it will come out yet. Thank God for Nuffnang and Schick!

Schick. Free Your Skin.

I just received an e-mail promo from Nuffnang and they're giving away two (2) free tickets for the movie screening of Man of Steel this coming June 14 at the Shangri-la Cineplex. How awesome is that, right? Here's the cool promo banner:



I highly encourage that you join their blog contest if you want to win tickets for the premiere, too! It's actually pretty simple, just answer the question:

“If you had the powers of MAN OF STEEL for one (1) week, how would you use it?”

Well, here's my own take on how I would use Superman's powers:

If I remember it right from the Superman comics I've read when I was younger, Superman had the superhuman intelligence, superhuman breath, x-ray vision, combat skills and of course, how can anyone forget the superhuman strength and solar battery that he possessed?

Using these powers in particular would actually help me in my personal mission to help the NBI track heinous criminals and their masterminds to help eliminate crimes in our country using all of the mentioned superpowers.

With the superhuman intelligence I could easily help the authorities to track down petty criminals to big time, mafia-like chieftains, especially those who are involved so much in the drug business.

Along with it, is using the physical superpowers in defying those who would try to fight back to the authorities.

I would totally kick-ass. IF this DOES happen, I would make sure that I have my own tight and hot superhero outfit. LOL

But these superpowers should not all be used in fighting crime (and looking hot haha) but it should be also used in helping solve other issues such as using the superhuman intelligence to help scientists and doctors find cures for various diseases such as cancer, lupus, polio and AIDS/HIV.

Also, helping in assessing and assisting the children with special needs and the mentally challenged would be of great help to those who needs it for free, since assessment and caring for our physically, mentally and genetically challenged brothers and sisters costs so much. I guess the super strength would also help me train batch after batch of volunteers that would also like to help in caring for our brothers and sisters in need, as training is also pretty expensive for the volunteers.

Apart from these, I'd use my superhuman intelligence to figure out a process that would help extract solar energy from my body so that people who are not fortunate enough to have electricity would have one from my solar powers.

Last, but not the least... I'd fly all the way to Mindanao to talk to the rebels and try to make them understand that violence isn't the only key to protect one's land, heritage or to show off their powers. It is about the things that they can do to make their place a safer place to live.

And those are the things that I would do if I were given the powers of the Man of Steel for an entire week. I hope you'd participate in this too, I would love to read about what you can do. :)

Per DTI-NCR Permit No.1843 Series of 2013.